PsychBytes

A publication of the Washington Baltimore Center for Psychoanalysis

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“I Have Always Depended On The Kindness Of Strangers”

Tarpley Long, MSW
Member, The Washington Center for Psychoanalysis
February 2017 | Volume 4 | Issue 2

Blanche Dubois’ final line in “Streetcar Named Desire” shows that she has slipped into madness by losing her full orientation to time, place, and person.

When one travels to places unfamiliar, it is not uncommon to find oneself lost, even while holding a map. Losing one’s orientation to place can be unnerving. As a traveler, when I lose my bearings, my tendency is to approach a passerby on the street or enter a shop to seek direction. My experience has been that strangers – old people, young men and women, bikers, groups of teenagers, fruit sellers – fall all over themselves to help me find my way. Recently, in Chile, a magazine vendor abandoned his street stand to guide me by my elbow to the corner to make sure I was headed back in the right direction. Is it because, as a woman alone, I appear vulnerable?

In reflecting on why I am always so well looked after on unfamiliar streets, I think my presenting my “lost” self awakens in others the unconscious childhood fear of being separated from the parent. Freud wrote that it is the universal recognition of the helplessness of the human infant that is the basis of all moral motives. Perhaps the strangers who assist me know instinctively that helping someone “lost ” become “found” again is like returning a lost child to her mother.

Painting: La Viajera by Camilo Mori, 1928

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On Leaving and Holding

One aspect of Joachim Trier’s 2026, Academy Award-nominated film, Sentimental Value, lingers: the idea that a house can hold memory, and in doing so, remind people of who they are and who they have been. The family home in the film becomes a kind of unconscious structure, a repository for grief, history, and the versions of themselves they could not keep.

I have never had that kind of house.

I have moved every two to four years for as long as I can remember. My life can be mapped through new cupboards and unfamiliar ceilings. I learned early how to fold myself into spaces never meant to hold me for long. Even now, some part of me is already preparing an exit.

WHY MAKE MIRROR ART IN WAR-TORN TEHRAN?

Why does Aref Montazeri, an Iranian sculptor whose art sells for over a million dollars, continue to make his towering works from shards of mirror glass in his studio in Tehran, amid window-shattering bomb blasts? He gently wraps his creations in shock-absorbing material, but why continue with such a fragile medium? In a Wall Street Journal article by Kelly Crow (May 2-3, 2026), he says, “Nothing, not even war, should prevent us from pursuing what we aim for.”

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