PsychBytes

A publication of the Washington Baltimore Center for Psychoanalysis

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Touch

Tarpley Long, MSW
Member, The Washington Center for Psychoanalysis
May 2017 | Volume 4 | Issue 5

Tell me you have never walked by a marble column, a bronze sculpture, a mahogany desk or a stone fountain and not had the urge to reach out to touch it. Where did this impulse originate? Probably at birth when we are received into loving hands. This early reciprocal pleasure in touch is ongoing in intimate relationships throughout our lives. We can also create this pleasurable sensation with inanimate objects in our environment such as a favorite coffee mug or Smart phone. We reach for door and cabinet hardware and kitchen and bath fixtures many times a day. If these are of a fine quality, we register pleasure, largely unconscious, interacting with them.

Over the past 20 years, I purchased five “fixer upper” but architecturally interesting houses and restored them. There are features of these homes I could point to as the reason they sold well was the surprise element of the sweet little screened porch or the chef’s atrium kitchen. My belief is that the buyers fell in love with these houses because of the investment I made in the hardware, starting with the front door handles. Whatever the design or material, if the door handles feel strong and conform to our grasp we will feel we are being brought into a place where we will be in good hands.

Little things mean a lot.

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On Leaving and Holding

One aspect of Joachim Trier’s 2026, Academy Award-nominated film, Sentimental Value, lingers: the idea that a house can hold memory, and in doing so, remind people of who they are and who they have been. The family home in the film becomes a kind of unconscious structure, a repository for grief, history, and the versions of themselves they could not keep.

I have never had that kind of house.

I have moved every two to four years for as long as I can remember. My life can be mapped through new cupboards and unfamiliar ceilings. I learned early how to fold myself into spaces never meant to hold me for long. Even now, some part of me is already preparing an exit.

WHY MAKE MIRROR ART IN WAR-TORN TEHRAN?

Why does Aref Montazeri, an Iranian sculptor whose art sells for over a million dollars, continue to make his towering works from shards of mirror glass in his studio in Tehran, amid window-shattering bomb blasts? He gently wraps his creations in shock-absorbing material, but why continue with such a fragile medium? In a Wall Street Journal article by Kelly Crow (May 2-3, 2026), he says, “Nothing, not even war, should prevent us from pursuing what we aim for.”

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