PsychBytes

A publication of the Washington Baltimore Center for Psychoanalysis

Share This Post

Endings

Robert Winer, MD
Member, The Washington Center for Psychoanalysis
July 2016 | Volume 3 | Issue 7

At first glance, endings are quite different in literature and treatment. In literature we assume that the writer has a story arc in mind that organizes the writing. A well-crafted ending should, for the reader, in retrospect, seem inevitable: the natural outcome of an unfolding process. An ending that makes sense testifies to the writer’s craft.

Endings in treatment aren’t like that, in part because the process is created by two people with different minds and somewhat different agendas. The clinician might have some idea of where the work could head, but there will be surprises in store. It’s probably a mark of good work that you can’t predict where it will go when you start, that you’re open to seeing where the work takes the two of you. It’s true that sometimes the termination of treatment pulls some things together in a meaningful way, other times it seems to die of attrition. Whereas the writer needs to have a shape of the whole, and to keep that in mind and have it drive the work, in treatment we are more in the moment, trying to make sense of this moment, this hour, and expecting that doing that conscientiously will be productive.

Curiously, endings in lives fall between the two. Over the course of our lives, we generally think about where we’re heading, an arc takes shape, and a forced disruption of that arc can be devastating. There’s meaning in taking stock of a life, but as we’re going through our lives, we don’t know how they’ll end. As we live longer, with greater wisdom offsetting restricted bodies, we may need to write a second chapter, a prospect we hadn’t imagined in our earlier lives, one that needs to be more than an epilogue, and might even be a new beginning.

Explore more in PsychBytes

The Reality Principle

When I was in graduate school studying child development, a friend and I would go to a local playground and watch the adult caregivers and children. Inevitably, it would be time to go. Often enough, the child would want to stay: tough stuff! I imagine the following: the parent says, “We have to go so I can cook dinner before Mommy comes home.” And we all remember the child’s response, “But I don’t want to!”  Dialogue is met with screaming, yet the crying protests fail. Then the horror: The larger person would pick up the smaller and carry it away. The smaller, we remember, might feel like “an it”, a thing, not an autonomous person. Our will, the child’s will, was met with what Sigmund Freud called the reality principle. Many of us adults today are equally frustrated by the reality principle as we are carried off to places we do not want to go. The world is taking many of us down a road…

The Eloquence of Silent Dreams

Although psychoanalysis is based on “putting it into words,” most dreams, Freud’s “royal road to the unconscious,” lack spoken words. Researchers believe such dreams are silent because they tap pre-verbal experience, enabling them to achieve a profound ambiguity. The specificity of words can narrow that potential…

Content Edit Request

Content Edit Request

Please submit one request at a time.